Patience

Spinning round and round and round

until you feel your heart sway.

Your whole self tingles

no self control

no rules.

Smile.

Cry.

Wish.

Dare it.

Don't worry,

the pain will cease,

not now, but someday.

the bleeding will stop,

just be patient, its not that hard

you either live

or you die.

Just Acting.

People say I am as open as an open book,
                                    (I've never understood the phrase)

They say they can almost see my thoughts,
                   they say they can almost touch them,

So I wonder...
           Can they really?

Do they see the dark clouds that roam through my mind?
                                    Not likely,
                                      they'd be scared of the thunder in them.

Do they feel my turmoil when you walk in?
                Can they feel the huricane inside my brain?
                                   Not likely, they wouldn't be able to sit so still.

Do they see how your presence makes me spiral down a waterfall?
                                    Can they feel me crashing on the rocks bellow?

People Say they can almost see my thoughts,
Can they really?
           
I tell them that perhaps,
                perhaps they just see what I want them to see,
                         perhaps I am the mastermind of deception.
         They laugh at the notion
They call me silly,
They say its my eyes that give me away,

Still I wonder can they really see me,
                                                 and smile as they do?
             Perhaps they can.
Perhaps we are all just oscar worthy actors,
trying to steal the protagonist role from one another

Movie Screen: A Not So Tragic Tragedy (A POEM)

  

Scene 1, Take 1:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl                 

                ACTION!

Girl is gently sobbing

Words are hard to come by

                                Saying goodbye is quite a hard endeavor.            

                Fear of not being missed, fear of being alone…again

Scene 2, Take 1:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

The boy is hugging her

She is his friend.

No words are needed

                                …still she keeps on trying

                                                The tears fall violently from her eyes

                He hugs her tighter, embracing her in comfort.

Scene 3, Take 1:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

He kisses her cheek       

                …for a moment the sadness leaves her.                               

                                She is happy, she is his friend.   

                                The tears are slowing down                       

                                                … he’s warmth makes her feel safe.       

                Saying goodbye is hard…             

                                …maybe their friendship will last

Scene 4, Take 1:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

Tears are still falling from her eyes,

                her make up is more then ruined.

                                 She feels her eyes are bloated.

                Still she feels her heart is safely guarded by a friend.

…He kisses her.

 Wait? What?  No! CUT!!!

Scene 4, Take 2:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

Tears are still falling from her eyes,

                her make up is more then ruined.

                                 She feels her eyes are bloated.

                Still she feels her heart is safely guarded by a friend.

…He kisses her. She kisses back.

                A perfect moment!

 Wait? What?  No! CUT!!!

Scene 5, Take 1:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

She moves away.

                Confusion…       

                                Bewilderment…

He apologizes, she smiles, they hug

                                They kiss.

CUT, CUT, CUT

Scene 5, Take 2:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

She moves away.

                Confusion…       

                                Bewilderment…

He apologizes,

she smiles,

they hug

                                                They kiss, Passionately.

NO! CUT.

Scene 6, Take 1:

                Two friends inside a car.

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                ACTION!

The heat is overwhelming

Breathing is hard and rough.      

                She can’t stop herself, he won’t stop.   

The heat keeps increasing, passion overflowing.

                She gasps for air…

…he whispers in her ear: a proposition of sorts.

                She moves away, reality coming back.

                Sense coming back.

Scene 7, Take 1:

                                                … a boy

                                                … a girl 

                                                                Inside a car.

ACTION!

He apologizes.

                She doesn’t speak.

                                He opens the door.        

                …he whispers a plea:

“Don’t tell anyone, I beg you.”

Scene 8, Take 1:

                                                … a girl 

                                                                Inside a car.

ACTION!

She is all alone

…her heart crumbles… 

she is his shame,

 she is his mistake                           

                she is no longer his friend.

One kiss and he is gone

                She is alone.      

FADE OUT

How to Live Today?

There are like a million quotes on seizing the moment, and living the present.
And I get it,  those quotes are like super smart, I understand them, How magnificent advice, live today!

What I don't understand is how?
How are we suppose to live today when the ghosts of our past keeps hunting us? When our future seems so uncertain?
How do you enjoy the now, when all your actions seem to take you further down the slippery slope of life?
How do you not let your past affect you when all your past defines you?
How do you stop thinking of the What ifs?
Where can I find the quotes that explain the how's?

How do you Live Today?
Do you ignore the past, and make the same mistakes a million times more?
Do you ignore the consequences of what might happen?

I've tried living in the moment, I've done things ignoring my past, and I've done things ignoring the future. I tried living the Today, and I got burned.

So seriously how do you live the Today to the fullest with out getting hurt?