I Can't Believe I did THAT!!!

OK. So Lately I've been having a series of "I can't believe I did THAT!!!" moments. Its as if for periods of time, my mind just shuts down and I end up doing the most ridiculous things.
And I am not talking of little silly one like the ones I routinely do, I am talking of the big, embarrassing things, that had I been in my right mind I wouldn't have never done!!!
I hate to admit this but its as if when I am with a certain someone my brain stops functioning. Which is ridiculous because he so obviously doesn't even care that I exist. Seriously he usually never acknowledges me and when he does its always to be mean, and still I keep doing all these stupid charades in order to what? I am not sure.
I blame my heart for being idiotic, and I blame my head for being completely weak, Because first my brain lets me do the embarrassing endeavours and then it makes me go crazy over my actions.
I hate this whole situation, I mean can't I just move on and for once in my life like a someone who actually likes me back. I always do this, ignore the perfectly nice guy who likes me and beg for the attention of the complete jerk who won't give me the time of day!!!
Maybe I am afraid of commitment, or have another sort of psychological disorder. Or perhaps I am just insane, either case I just wish I would stop making a complete idiot of myself for no reason.
So here is the absurdity of my actions with this guy:
First of all the stupid giggling I do this every time he is near its seriously wrong. I feel like a complete airhead every time he is near, its like I suddenly transform into a creature I can barely even recognize as myself. So then what do I do? I not-so-casually invite him over to red lobster, which he doesn't flat out say no, but he does find every possible way to avoid, and I can see him get nervous and not wanting to go, and I can't seem to stop myself from keep on joking on how much fun it would be. I can't believe I did that!!!
The next thing I did was that on his birthday, I organized a surprise for him. I made all of his friends scribble pretty messages on it, and then I got him a car wash card. How did this turn out, well I went all out of my way to buy the card, got lost, stuck in traffic, one of his girly-skinny-best friend wrote all over the truck barely giving me any room for me to write on and occurs he was excited and happy, and that made me completely happy but the point is he didn't really seem to care I organized it, all he cared was that his girly-skinny-best friend had written a cute message on the freaking truck!!! And I can't believe I did that!!! How incredibly stupid must I be to do all this show of nonsense all to get a hug from the Teddy bear????
Ohhh but my stupidity does not end there!!!! oh far from  it!!!
What did this lesson show me? well apparently my think head was not ready to throw in the towel. oh no!!! what did I do??
A couple days later I wrote on his truck, a cute little Roses are red poem, you know those absurd whimsical poems: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Honey is Sweet but not As Sweet as You. not only did I write this I did it with my RED LIPSTICK (which by the way got ruined) I wrote it supposedly anonymously but occurs he recognizes he's personalize stalker style!!!
I can't believe I did that!!!
What did he do? oh he texted, "Thanks, that was cute"  Talk about stabbing someone through the heart!!!
So I am trying very hard to stop with the obssessed freak complex.
And well believe it or not telling a bunch of strangers on the internet about it, helps me see myself as the crazy person I was starting to become, and well it end TODAY!!!
Finito.
Bye bye Teddy bear!!!
Ciao.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3mC4485Ue0